Totally out of a lapse. This is how this started… and from a desperate need to rant about life before I make sense of it.
Came out from work after a 13 hour shift, in a job where time is speed up and pumped with adrenaline. The day ends before you realize it. My days have been a blur between learning how to navigate this world, remember to call my parents, try to build a career in the fastest growing company in the world, and create a start-up on my “free time” with a business partner that has a rhythm as fast as his dream sports car (which is not yet invented, I’m sure). Honestly, the man should design a new scale to measure productivity.
In the middle, my best friends sends me a message worrying I may burnout, that I do not look healthy… Really?
The last time I had sun it was exactly for 5 brief minutes this Sunday, before the microclimate ate away that precious star. I was sitting by my window with my laptop open, recharging energy like a thirsty solar panel… Have I mentioned that I live in Swansea? It is not enough to come out from the sunniest country in Europe to the UK, but I had to land on the wettest shore of this Island! Of course I do not look healthy, this is the palest I’ve been in my life. Fair skin, they call it, I don’t see any fairness in this.
Amongst the storm, I swirl in a tornado of reality checks: my leads and my manager counterpart tell me the clock is ticking, I should find a man and have kids… I’m almost 32… not getting any younger… It will be difficult after… and some other details I deliberately chosen to erase from my bruised mind (Thank you guys… have you been talking to my mum?). And finally, my sister who I love to death very sweetly encourages me telling me “I will collect what I am planting”.
My history with plants is disastrous. Keeping a simple life form alive (let alone healthy… I’m talking about cactus) is only comparable to my current pale unhealthy look. I’m pretty sure I won’t be collecting any super power own-grown plant, unless I invent some life form on the surface that can live without light… Hmm is this the idea that will launch me as a self-made entrepreneur? Will me new company save me?
This felt good. I hope I can sleep now.